I have decided to celebrate our nation's 231st birthday by painting myself red, white, and blue, and looting those terrorist-run 7-11 stores in the name of Uncle Sam. I'll leave my sweet new ride running in the driveway all day with the A/C going full blast, just to show Mother Nature who's boss.
I'll write fan letters to George Bush, Dick Cheney, Condoleeza Rice, Pat Robertson, and Ann Coulter, all while listening to Toby Keith. I'll ride down to the border and spend my time wisely by pulling a shift as a Minutewoman, making sure nobody gets into our land illegally.
Later, I'll wash the day down with ice-cold Bud Lights, quadruple-fat-ass burgers and fries from the American Embassy (Mc Donalds's), and pass out while my arteries become clogged and I become a burden on the American healthcare system.
Syke.
A Happy 4th to you and your family! And on a trite but sincere note, let's remember all the things that are truly great about our country, and the sacrifices that made it this way.
I'll write fan letters to George Bush, Dick Cheney, Condoleeza Rice, Pat Robertson, and Ann Coulter, all while listening to Toby Keith. I'll ride down to the border and spend my time wisely by pulling a shift as a Minutewoman, making sure nobody gets into our land illegally.
Later, I'll wash the day down with ice-cold Bud Lights, quadruple-fat-ass burgers and fries from the American Embassy (Mc Donalds's), and pass out while my arteries become clogged and I become a burden on the American healthcare system.
Syke.
A Happy 4th to you and your family! And on a trite but sincere note, let's remember all the things that are truly great about our country, and the sacrifices that made it this way.
1 comment:
Ha...nice post. Although your true July 4th celebration involved blowing up a traitor...no better way to celebrate.
Post a Comment