Carrie Prejean, You're Awesome.

Why can't this woman go away? If I've ever seen anyone who could benefit more from a good balled fist to the face, I don't remember when. Here's why:

1. She's an über-hypocrite. You disagree with gay marriage, fine. That's your opinion. But that moral high road that you claim to be taking becomes mighty inconvenient when your SEX TAPE comes out. Oops.

When you're even more insufferable than Elisabeth Hasselbeck, then we've got a problem.

2. She's smarmy as all get-out. It would take a squeegee to wipe that ever-present smirk off her face. Check out her amazing interview on Larry "Inappropriate" King Live here, in which she unclips her mike and refuses to speak for the last part of the interview. This is after she refers to Michelle Bachman and Sarah Palin as "brilliant".

3. She owes the Miss California pageant a chunk of change for those boobs they bought her before she made an ass of herself and got "dethroned" (love using that word in reference to beauty pageants) for contract violations.

Halloween Happened.

And I didn't get one single picture of my sweet red boots. Here's a picture of me in my go-go dancer dress though, and luckily, the earrings are mine to keep!

In related news, my pumpkin did in fact win first place at Applebee's, thank you very much! I got a $25 GC and the kids all got a free kids' meal. Holla! Now start sucking up to me and maybe I'll take you for a fancy meal where we eat good in the neighborhood.

Your Election Night Headquarters

Get ready to get tingly all over again, people! This video, edited by DailyKos contributor Jed Lewison, will take you back to that glorious evening last November when we Democrats finally got our groove back after eight years of He Who Shall Not Be Named.



Tonight's races might not be as exciting, but CNN.com has a great article here to fill you in on the most influential and interesting contests nationwide.

Be sure to read about Dede Scozzafava, a Republican who was driven from the race in New York's 23rd Congressional district by a more conservative third-party candidate, then served up a nice platter of steaming hot boo-yah by endorsing the Democratic candidate. I'm just glad that for once it's not the Democrats who are shooting themselves in the foot.

He Don't Play

As most of you know, I'm not generally a cheerleader of very many Republicans, and I'm pretty sure this particular one has a severe speech impediment that masquerades as an "accent", I did get a rise out of what Arnold Schwarznegger did this week.

After being heckled by San Francisco Assemblyman Tom Ammiano, a Democrat, the Republican governor received a bill sponsored by Ammiano on his desk, and declined to sign it. As he usually does, he included a short note of explanation to inform the sponsor of why he decided against signing it.

Here's the note that accompanied this bill:

Read the first letter of every line in the second and third paragraphs. Zing!, right?

When asked about the occurrence, his smart-ass spokesman just said, "My goodness. What a coincidence. I suppose when you do so many vetoes, something like this is bound to happen." He also helpfully pointed out that previous letters have spelled out such shockers as "soap" and "poet".

Party Halloweekend is Coming Soon

This is going to be a good one. Albeit marred by having to take the ESL certification test at 8 a.m. on Saturday, I think there are some fun times to be had in the few days to come.

On Friday, I am headed to San Antonio to join my friend Charity and her family helping at a Halloween party at an orphanage. That's all I know about it so far, but I think it sounds really nice and like a lot of fun.

Saturday, as I said, is the test, but I'll go home, take a quick disco nap, and head to the Texas Book Festival to see..... Gail Freakin' Collins! I'm really excited about this because as I mentioned here before, I'm a big fan, and will probably buy her new book at the festival, When Everything Changed: The Amazing Journey of American Women from 1960 to the Present. (If anyone wants to join for the book festival, let me know.)

Saturday night in downtown Austin will be the icing on the cake. But I'll wait and let you see my costume in pictures...

Speaking of, here's a picture of the pumpkin that my students and I decorated last week for a contest at Applebee's. Ain't she somethin'?

Lawn Update...and Other Minor Household Troubles

Stephanie volunteered the services of her carburetor-fixin' husband, AJ, to examine the lawnmower. Loveybears! AJ has since narrowed down the problem, determine what will be needed to fix it, and is going to repair the old hunk o'junk for me.

In related news, Stephanie knows how to fix the automatic garage door opener (again) that I have unwittingly screwed up (again). I'm going to be taking notes this time.

It's good to have friends who know how to do stuff.

I am currently repaying their kindnesses by making them a really bitchin' diaper cake for baby Annalea, due in late December. Photos soon!

Hi, I'm Easily Defeated.

This is my backyard.

The Garden of Eden.

You may have noticed it's a bit uneven. That's what happens when your lawnmower is a big ol' piece and you let the grass grow for about a month and you try to cut it and the mower dies. I have had some craptastic luck with lawnmowers since moving here, and I'm feeling pretty sorry for myself about it.

My only consolation is that my misfit dog is eating the grass with gusto as we speak. He's really getting after it. Parts of said grass are taller than he is.

So until I can get a lawn service to come out here, I'll sit in my Delta Downs lawn chair in the cut part of the yard and read my book.

2009: A Very Vampire Year

So far, since receiving the book Twilight for Christmas from my mom last year, I have been on a bit of a tear. I read Twilight and the two books that followed: New Moon and Eclipse. Of course, Twilight was a movie as well, albeit a crappy one. Tonight I will finish the fourth book, Breaking Dawn. The first and last books were much better than numbers two and three, and overall I guess I'd give the series 3 stars out of 5.

In between times, I also read the Swedish vampire novel, Let the Right One In by John Ajvide Lindquist. The book was 4 stars out of 5. It was also made into a movie, which looked like it might have been good, but I just couldn't get past the really awful, awful dubbing. I'd rather read subtitles than hear a series of disembodied voices for two hours. Plus, the book was so long that they had to leave a lot out. That always disappoints me.

Finally, I have just started watching the HBO series True Blood. Love it! I know the rest of the world's already seen it, but in case you're in my no-cable-TV-having club, the vampires in this show are "out of the coffin" and trying to fit into society. The main character is Sookie Stackhouse, a waitress in Bon Temps, Louisiana, who meets a vampire, Bill Compton. (I don't know much about what happens after that, because I'm only on the fourth episode. So don't spoil it for me!) One thing I really like about the show is that it's set in true backwoods Louisiana, and what's a better setting than that?

Additionally, I've always wanted to read Dracula. Maybe someday.

I know that the vampire-centricity of my entertainment this year is largely due to how popular they've become lately. Before that, it was wizards with Harry Potter. (I'm afraid I bought into that one too, full speed, but again--I was hardly alone.) I wonder when this will pass, and what will be the next juvenile trend to which I happily succumb?

Mmm Delicious, Vol. 27... Lemon-Cream Chicken and Champagne Risotto with Asparagus and Pancetta!

This was so good! I didn't feel like it was really too much work, though it was a full page of instructions in Rachael Ray's Big Orange Book. Even if you think it is, it's definitely worth it. I have tried to arrange the instructions so they're more concise. As the cookbook suggests, read throught the steps a couple of times first--that did help me get the timing down.

This recipe makes two good-sized servings.

3 1/2 cups chicken stock

5 Tbsp. extra-virgin olive oil

1 onion, chopped (I used about 1 cup chopped frozen)

2 garlic cloved, chopped (I used 1 tsp. minced)

1 cup arborio rice (don't use regular rice)

salt & pepper

1 split of sparkling wine (or 1/2 of a regular bottle)

1/2 cup heavy cream

1 lemon

cayenne pepper

2 boneless skinless chicken breast halves

3 1/8"-thick slices of pancetta (or 2 slices bacon), chopped

1 small bundle of asparagus, tough ends trimmed, then cut in 1" pieces

1 large shallot, thinly sliced

1/2 cup grated Parmesan

3-4 sprigs of fresh thyme, chopped (I used dried, it was fine)

1. Heat 3 cups of stock in a small pot over very low heat and keep it there.

2. Heat 2 Tbsp. of oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add the onion and garlic, saute for 3-4 minutes. Add the rice and toss to coat, then season with salt & pepper. Pour in the sparkling wine and allow it to cook off for about 1 minute.

3. Add in the 3 cups of stock, a few ladles at a time, until the rice is creamy and tender. Allow the rice to absorb the stock somewhat before adding more. In all the risotto will take about 20 minutes.

4. While the risotto cooks, heat the cream in a small pot with a 3-inch piece of lemon zest (strip of the outer peel) and a pinch of cayenne pepper. Cook gently over medium-low heat for about 15 minutes, until it thickens and is reduced by about half.

5. Season the chicken with salt & pepper, and heat 2 Tbsp. of oil over medium-high heat. Cook for about 6 minutes on each side, then slice it and leave it on a plate to rest. Add the remaining 1/2 cup of chicken stock to deglaze the pan, and then pour it all into the risotto and stir.

6. In the chicken skillet, heat the last tablespoon of oil and add the pancetta. Cook for 3 minutes or so, then add the asparagus and shallot. Cook this for 3 minutes more, until it's tender. Add the chicken to the pan for a minute or two to make sure it stays hot for serving.

7. Before serving, stir the Parmesan and thyme into the risotto and check the temperature. Spoon the risotto onto the plate, then top with the chicken and asparagus mixture.

8. Squeeze the lemon over the asparagus and chicken, as much as you like, then top with some of the cream sauce (minus the lemon zest).

Take a Look at Jesus Needs New P.R.

I want to call your attention again to author Matthew Paul Turner's blog, Jesus Needs New P.R. He's a Christian writer whose books are a funny take on Christianity and how seriously some people take themselves.

Posts include book reviews, commentaries, a regular "Jesus Pic of the Day", and a variety of products and services he comes across that remind us what it really, really means to be a Christian. For example, there's the photoshopped pictures of your children with Jesus, done by Mormon Kay in Utah, and the company that will care for your pets after the rapture.

Below are a couple of his findings. Visit his site for more, of course!

"Okay, so you juggle AND wear a bow tie. Well, I'll clap, but I'm not sure I can help you, son." -Jesus

Guess what my mom's getting for Christmas this year?