Panty Man

"When I was a very little boy, I don't exactly remember it, I guess we were going through a department store and I stole a pair of silk female garments and put them beneath my butt because I apparently liked how it felt."
-Sam "Joe the Plumber" Wurzelbacher, when asked if he'd ever stolen anything

Read his AOL interview in its dazzling entirety here. In a nutshell, he discusses Aaron Tippin, Old Yeller, and how much he bench pressed back in his glory days.