Hi! We're just BEGGING to go to the Humane Society!

In the past twenty-four hours, these simply adorable dogs have jumped on my chair to spend the night (off which I spent ten minutes vacuuming their hair yesterday) with muddy feet, then somehow gotten into my bedroom and strewed and/or ate the entire contents of the trash can, shredding the bag as an added middle-finger to me, and finally, stole my tomatoes out of my grocery bag and started eating them.

They're awful and spoiled and I don't know what to do with them. Please, somebody tell me. I don't have time to watch The Dog Whisperer DVDs either.

No, I'd never really get rid of them, because I do love them, but they're making me afraid to ever have children.

Maybe I should ask them to consider what the Berenstain Bears would do.