Carrie Prejean, You're Awesome.

Why can't this woman go away? If I've ever seen anyone who could benefit more from a good balled fist to the face, I don't remember when. Here's why:

1. She's an über-hypocrite. You disagree with gay marriage, fine. That's your opinion. But that moral high road that you claim to be taking becomes mighty inconvenient when your SEX TAPE comes out. Oops.

When you're even more insufferable than Elisabeth Hasselbeck, then we've got a problem.

2. She's smarmy as all get-out. It would take a squeegee to wipe that ever-present smirk off her face. Check out her amazing interview on Larry "Inappropriate" King Live here, in which she unclips her mike and refuses to speak for the last part of the interview. This is after she refers to Michelle Bachman and Sarah Palin as "brilliant".

3. She owes the Miss California pageant a chunk of change for those boobs they bought her before she made an ass of herself and got "dethroned" (love using that word in reference to beauty pageants) for contract violations.