How to Fit Puerto Rico on the U.S. Flag, Part 2

UPDATE: The list of politicians supporting Texas secession has grown! There are now two of them. The other one is some guy that's running for governor of Georgia, but that’s neither here nor there.

The following pearls of wisdom are an excerpt from Patrick "Sexy Pants" Johnson's article, "Can I Kill Andrea Yates and Plead Insanity?", which is linked to Larry Kilgore's page. It outlines their reasons for eliminating prisons, which boil down to the fact that we won't need them because we're just going to kill them all.


“If we followed God’s system, the execution would take place publicly, and the witnesses would participate in the executing. There is no insanity defense, no statute of limitations, no throwing out authentic evidence gathered without a court order, no disregarding of uncoerced confessions, no cutting deals between defense and prosecution, no age limit for prosecution, no parole of convicts, no prison escapes, and no repeat offenders.

"Furthermore, there would be few, if any, convictions of innocent people. In God’s Word, the death penalty mandated at least two eye-witnesses (a strong piece of evidence, like a confession, video evidence, or DNA evidence, would count as a witness.) Circumstantial evidence, or the testimony of one person, would never lead to a conviction.

"What would be the punishment for this 14-year-old liar if he was caught in his lie today and brought on charges of perjury? A slap on the wrist? Community service? A couple of weeks in a youth detention center, hanging out and playing ball with kids just as evil as he? God’s law punishes perjury in a capital case by executing the perjurer. The perjurer faced the exact punishment that he tried to bring upon an innocent person by his lying. This, God promises us, prevents perjury.”

I don't know why nobody thought of this before. The most important thing to remember is that if there aren't two witnesses, it simply didn't happen. Be sure to tell your children that if they are molested, you don't want to hear them complaining about it unless they can produce two eyewitnesses, or one eyewitness and DNA evidence. Just to be sure they're not kidding, you might also remind them of the penalties for lying, while you're at it.